Four in a Bed 

Feather dusters, extra eggs,

De-scaling showerheads,

Curly hairs, spiders’ webs,

For one week we’ll be celebs,

Nerves in tatters, all on edge,

Camera, action - Four in a Bed!

Four in a Bed, Four in a Bed,

First hosts:  Gina and Ged,

Reputation widespread,

Truly wholesome homestead,

Goats’ cheese, rye bread,

Shepherds’ huts (posh sheds). 

Four in a Bed, Four in a Bed,

Next up:   Tina and Ted,

Fringed nylon bedspreads,

Marmalade - Golden Shred,

Cheap wine, sore heads,

Scornful guests soon fled.

Four in a Bed, Four in a Bed,

Let’s visit Frank and Fred, 

Gastropub – The Old Hogshead,

Thick bacon, white bread,

Piles of meat, mounting dread,

Feel sick, overfed.

Four in a Bed, Four in a Bed,

Last couple:  Nina and Ned,

Rare sheep, hand-bred,

Superking waterbeds,

Egyptian cotton, countless threads,

Popular with newlyweds. 

Judgement day, goodwill dead,

Fake approval, misled,

Hurtful feedback twice read,

Barbed comments, tears shed.

“I’m devastated”, Tina said,

“Game playing”, muttered Ged,

“Game over”, sighed Ted,

Hopes high from Nina and Ned,

They’re sure they’re ahead.

The final task falls to Fred,

He stands up, then drops down dead,

A tragic end to Four In A Bed.

© Sarah Ogilvie 2024